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  • Writer's pictureNathan Terey BS, MA, CHt., CAAC

Unveiling the Chains of Resentment: A Roadmap to Liberation


As you’re taking time over the next few weeks to contemplate your New Year’s resolutions, perhaps it is a good idea to add letting go of resentment to your list. We have all been treated poorly in our past, at one time or another, and if we spend some time reflecting, we may come to find that deep within us we are still holding onto some negative emotions toward the person who hurt us.  

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Resentment is a formidable emotion that stealthily infiltrates our minds, poisoning our thoughts and corroding our well-being. Defined as a persistent feeling of bitterness or indignation resulting from a real or perceived wrongdoing, resentment has the power to imprison us in a cycle of negativity. In this post, I will guide you into the depths of resentment, helping you to understand its origins and explore effective strategies to help you break free from its chains.


Understanding Resentment

To begin, let’s get onto the same page with our understanding about resentment. At its core, resentment is an emotional response to a perceived injustice, betrayal, or unfair treatment – someone that has hurt us in some way. It can fester within us, slowly transforming into a toxic force that affects our mental and emotional health. Whether it stems from personal relationships, professional setbacks, or even societal issues, resentment has the potential to become a heavy burden, hindering our personal growth and happiness.


The Roots of Resentment

To effectively address and overcome resentment, it's crucial to identify its roots. Quiet contemplation can help with the latter; and journaling, as I convey to people daily, can be a great tool to get to the root cause of any issue we struggle with. Resentment often arises from unmet expectations, feelings of powerlessness, or unresolved conflicts. Reflecting on the source of resentment can provide valuable insights into the underlying issues that need attention.


Anger toward spouse, resentment in marriage and relationships

Strategies to Release Resentment


Cultivate Empathy

This step and the next one can be rather difficult. I mean, who really wants to have empathy and practice forgiveness toward someone who did us wrong? But developing empathy towards the person or situation that triggered resentment can be transformative. By putting yourself in the other persons shoes, you may gain a broader perspective and understand the complexities surrounding the action they took toward you.


Practice Forgiveness

Believe it or not, forgiveness is a powerful antidote to resentment. Forgiveness is the component I get argued about from people the most (because this is the one they really don’t want to do). Forgiveness doesn't mean condoning the wrongdoing but rather

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freeing yourself from the emotional shackles tied to it. Remember, when you hold onto the poison that resentment is, you’re only harming yourself. Letting go of resentment through forgiveness is a liberating act that benefits your mental and emotional well-being.

Express Your Feelings

Ok, so maybe the first 3 are pretty difficult. We should know that suppressing emotions can intensify resentment. Instead, communicate your feelings in a constructive manner (that last part is kind of really important, constructive). Expressing yourself allows for open dialogue, fostering understanding and potentially resolving the underlying issues.


Set Boundaries

Establishing clear boundaries can prevent future resentments. Setting boundaries means clearly communicating your expectations and limits, ensuring that others are aware of your needs and values. This proactive approach can create a healthier dynamic in relationships.


Focus on Self-Care

Prioritize your own self-care to build your emotional resilience (something many people are lacking a lot of lately). Engage in activities that bring joy, relaxation, and fulfillment. Taking care of your well-being empowers you to face challenges with a more balanced and positive mindset.


Seek Professional Support

Sometimes, overcoming deep-seated resentment may require professional assistance. This is where I come into the picture. My specialty is centered around providing guidance,

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helping you navigate complex emotions and developing more effective coping strategies. I can be reached by filling out any one of the contact boxes on my website and a simple message that you need some extra help and guidance. I am happy to help!



Resentment, though a natural human emotion, does not need to dictate our lives, nor should it. Unveiling the chains of resentment begins by understanding its origins and actively working towards its release, we can break free from its grip and embrace a future filled with emotional freedom and personal growth, in short, greater happiness. Remember, the path to overcoming resentment is a journey of self-discovery and empowerment, leading to a brighter and more fulfilling life!


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